Monday, February 13, 2012

There is no Un-Do button in Life

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come."
- Joseph Campbell

They say that if you change one thing about your life, you change everything, therefore you shouldn't regret the choices you have made because they have in fact, made you who you are.

Most of the time, I am a true believer of that philosophy, but I can't deny that if I had a Do-Over, there are a few things that I would do:

I would control my temper and my tongue.  It is not too late to make changes where this is concerned, but there are moments and words I truly wish I could take back, and that overall my demeanor was somewhat more calm and patient.

I would be more economically minded, and I would have saved, budgeted, and made better financial decisions.  Again, going forward I can make wiser choices, but I can't get back what is gone, nor avoid the consequences of my choices up 'til now.

I would have gotten better grades in high school - even though I was an honors student I think sometimes my focus wasn't what it could have been.  And then, I would have completed my Bachelors Degree right out of high school.  This, too, is something that I can't change, 20 years have passed.  But I can try again, and I'm wrapping up my first semester toward this goal as we speak.  Still, I'm sure it would be easier if I didn't have to try to balance all of this school work with adult responsibilities!  I most certainly would take advantage of dorm life and hours upon hours of available study time.  (I also miss my 18 year old stamina where that is concerned!)

I would be more health conscious.  I came from a meat and potatoes and Coca Cola and chocolate cake household.  I wish there were more exercise and fruit and veggies, and that I didn't have to struggle so hard to create better habits now.  But, I've discovered Zumba and CSA's and know that filling my stomach doesn't equal filling my soul.

I would have loved myself more, and known that THAT kind of love would have led to more fulfilling external relationships.  I kept looking for someone else to fill me up, when all that did was drain me - beyond empty.  Now, I'm still hoping to have someone by my side to share my life, that is a DEFINITE wish on my Do-Over list - but the responsibility of my happiness belongs to me, not anyone else.  Now it is about finding a partner and companion, when then it was about having someone to "make me happy."  I'm glad that I understand that now, but wish I hadn't had to go through so much pain to figure it out.

Anyone sensing a theme here?  All of these things can be changed...but I wish I knew then what I know now.  There is no Do-Over, but there is always starting over - as long as we're willing to try! It's a good thing then that "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
- C. S. Lewis


  1. I would like to have focused on school move and have been better health conscious, and been more aware of money. I think even this small changes could change everything about your life and who you are. Great thoughts!

  2. You are so far ahead of most of us in that you have admitted the areas in your life you need to work on. So insightful and inspiring. Great post.

  3. I love that you are making changes based on what you have learned. That in my book is living. Every year gets better and every year gets just a little easier. It's true because every year I think I make better choices and I know what I want and what I have to do to have it. I'm willing and able to do that.
    You are on the right track, for sure.

  4. I enjoy me life, I don't want a do-over, but it would have been nice to be fiscally aware, oh, and actually used that buns of steel excercise tape.

  5. I love this. You can't go back, you can only go forward and strive to do better! Awesome!


  6. We can't go back, but we can learn from the past and you seem to be doing a fine job of that. Nice post.

  7. Thanks, everyone! I really wasn't feeling all that "up" when I wrote this post, but going back and reading it again, and then all of your comments just makes me even more grateful. Self awareness is an ENORMOUS gift, and knowing that as Joyce Meyer says, "I'm not where I want to be, but at least I'm not where I used to be!" is so incredibly true. While I have some worries about what lies ahead, at least I know I have survived what has passed!! Thanks for the reading and comments and reminders!

  8. Just for today... Thanks for sharing!

  9. The fact that you survived the past means you are more than strong enough to face the future.

  10. I love the C.S. Lewis quote. I was 36 when I went back to college to get my BA. I went in with 28 credits from age 17/18 and 26. If I were afforded a do-over and had to go back to 17 to do it, I might have tried a little harder knowing what I know now. However the reality (my reality) is that I wasn't ready until I was 36. Graduated months shy of turning 40 ;-)

  11. I LOVED this! Too often, people look back with a sense of bitterness at what they didn't do or what they feel they were cheated out of. You look back and what things might have made your life better and then you set about making them happen. You ROCK!

  12. Thanks for your kind words, everyone...

  13. I say I would do all of the things you'd do over too, but I wonder if it came down to it if I really would. Did you ever see the movie "Peggy Sue Got Married?" Although with her do over her intentions were change, she ended up doing exactly what she did before--entering into the same messed up marriage!


    P.S. I often need a do-over on these types of capitas. I hate them!